Friday, 22 May 2015

What is bravery?

When you think of a brave character what comes to mind? For most I imagine it would be the character who saves the day, helps out others, takes a great risk that appears to come at a huge potential cost to themselves. So what is bravery? 

The presence of courage? The ability to overcome adversity? To show strength when it would be easier to crumble? To me this is where the non-stereotypical character in life wins the bravery race. A person who, for example, chooses to stay in an unhappy, unhealthy situation knowing day in and out that it does not serve them at all is far braver than a typical hero. To me risking your life doing crazy stunts that scare the hell out of you, climbing dangerous mountains, traveling solo, uprooting your life and taking a chance elsewhere are all typical kind of risks that whilst scary at least give you some freedom. You aren't locked in a cage. 

Granted I'm not somebody who has chosen to live like this for decades at a time but I do think that in part we all allow ourselves to have this sort of senseless bravery that traps our freedom and inhibits us from what we are entitled to experience in our lives. Whether that is travel, a new job, being in a happy relationship or simply experiencing the joy of change every once in a while; these risks are the ones that will give back, the ones we won't regret, the ones we will write about in a story. However we must not forget how life's hurdles handed us this stupid bravery in order to set us free again otherwise we wouldn't be the characters that we are. 

Today for the first time since I was 13years of age I am unemployed (from a paid job). It came about not because my employer wasn't happy with me, because they were and they still ask for me back everyday, but rather because for the first time in my life I decided that happiness had to take priority over a monetary value. Perhaps I will not look as the most employable person, especially after posting this, though to me I see it as a positive opportunity to find a workplace and career that fits with my positive outlook on life and helps me grow as a person and a professional. I never thought I would be what I used to deem as 'one of those people' who resign from a job with seemingly not a thought in the world. But I was wrong, resigning (from a workplace not my career I enjoy it!) was a hard, long, thought- out decision; it was also one of the best things I ever did. I am happier, healthier, my passion and zest for life is back in leaps and bounds. Up to this point in time I have worked ridiculously hard to build my career to what it is now an I have no doubt in my capabilities to find other work. When I find that workplace, that gives me freedom to grow, makes me happy to walk into work everyday and fits with who I am- I know I'll be the most dedicated worker there. In the meantime I get to meet people working different jobs (as they come along) from completely different perspectives, cultures and backgrounds and to me nothing could be more refreshing nor important. 

Till next time...

Jules :)  


An avant garde way of travel

Standing on the escalator on my ascent to Waterloo train station today when finally it hit me. Why doesn't society create an adult size baby bjorn? 

Can you imagine? Amongst your regular commuting traffic you lift your head to see the latest form of travel- the man carrier. Suddenly a fully grown male attached to his Schwarznegger counterpart turns and smiles at you from ear to ear. He's having the time of his life and is completely, blissfully aware that his feet are dangling while yours are dragging step by step behind a hoard of human traffic post 12hour shift at the office. Women strapped to men, men strapped to men and so forth; the options are endless really, I mean unless of course you couple up with a weakling, short person or it's summer on the central line. 

It's the very kind of travel you couldn't get angry about and hence perfect for London. Why? 
1. Simply witnessing an adult chest to chest cradling another adult will bring joy to another's face. Let alone a fully suspended forward facing adult on the Jubilee line to Willesden Green. 
2. Adult baby bjorn-ing is the new crossfit. I mean who needs a gym membership when you can carry your mate to work? It just makes sense. 
3. It's a budget saver- 2 people through a tube gate for the price of 1 (if your tricky). 4. Baby bjorn-ing a friend will most certainly always result in at least one 'return the favour' journey which can be used at a time of your convenience which means; sit back, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride! It's travel time! 





Thursday, 7 May 2015

Life's little marvels

How we know God exists in cities

Last night I was watching Evan Almighty; in the film God, played by Morgan Freeman, spoke of how God doesn't give us what we want necessarily but the opportunity to earn what we want or learn how to fight for it. So I decided to bite & create a list for Londoners or city dwellers who are at times burdened with the beautiful hardships of city life. 

You know He exists when:
1. He makes you miss public transport for a minute only to have to wait 20minutes and learn some patience. 
2. You appreciate standing on public transport and lack of smell when someone's spring BO rivals off milk.
3. You feel constantly compelled to give to the poor knowing that you yourself have thought about stealing donation tins for a decent feed or your weekly travel card.
4. You appreciate communication when basic sign language is the only method of interaction. 
5. Conversely you appreciate the ability for facial expressions to speak a multitude of things when you encounter uncouth individuals and save your integrity from being destroyed. 
6. You learn respect and love when somebody you least expect puts you amicably in your place but for your benefit. 
7. You learn hope and faith when one person, makes you grateful for the human race through a random act of kindness towards you or another. 

Every day in the city is a rat race, it takes a conscious decision to slow down for me to really observe what's around. It is the easiest thing to miss all the beauty of life and when we are bogged down, maybe with negative experiences, bad news or a world that seems closed in we only need to, look up. 

Happy Wednesday. Till next time...

Jules







Monday, 13 April 2015

A big adventure!

A written revolution has moved to London!

I am very excited to announce that we have moved to London and will now be writing from the UK and several holiday destinations nearby. I am very excited to bring you my latest from London even though I will always miss Australia and the beginnings of this little blog (let's face it it's still little..for now).

It almost feels like new year again with so many exciting opportunities up for grabs. You might be wondering what spurred this on? Well at Christmas my UK/Euro trip left me teary eyed & with no doubt...London had to become home again. So as writing and life goes, you might see a few changes here but in essence I'll still be bringing you writing tips, original works of mine, health tips for a fit body and mind & some downright thought provoking pieces. I request your company on my journey! 

Remember to continue following and sharing the page via google+ or Facebook! I look forward to sharing my next chapter with you! 

Ciao, 
Jules 

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Why you must never give up on what you want...

Those who get what they want are greedy, but they aren't stupid.

Ever scolded someone for what they have without true knowledge to make an actual judgment? Well step back, the person you just criticised could give you some pointers.


In life we want for everything, the reality of our dreams, superb possessions, immaculate love but are we greedy for it? It is certainly true that greed should not consume our minds and take our souls away from being decent but being greedy is also entirely necessary for happiness.


Many people think to have happiness you must find the perfect job and have all your ducks in a row. Why? What's wrong with identifying something that you want and going for it?


Here's why, people know greed they don't know about greed for a cause. If you want something, work hard for it, you will be rewarded for your effort. Therefore if there is something you want to achieve get green eyed about it. Be possessive, protect your will to see it through and do everything to make it happen. Nothing ever came from sitting back, hoping, praying and wishing.
On January 15 I arrived back in Australia from a European tour. I was saddened that I have to leave friends, go to work and face the prospects of saving for a house and travel whilst waiting for my next scheduled holidays to come around. The adventure was zapped out of me and I realised where I am is not me anymore, at least not for now.


This may have explained my otherwise inexplicable but constant sobbing on my 24 hour flight home. I'd never felt anything like it. Trying not to pay attention to my emotions (as I'd experienced travel blues before) was the key. Needless to say the day after I returned home I asked about the cost of flights to return to London.


After weeks heading back to work and hoping I'd feel normal once routine had set in, I still felt sad. I began to enquire about work back in London and did up some detailed 'maybe' plans. I still had no direct intention of booking anything without ensuring these feelings weren't just regular blues. After all London was never on the cards again, at least in my head.


Needless to say after some more time I was convinced that my feelings to go 'home' wouldn't dissipate. I booked flights, spoke to my boss and anxiously anticipated the response. A few days ensued where I became physically nauseous about the reaction to leave work for an extended period of time and after I had essentially just started back. I'm pleased to say though after having the conversation stress lifted immediately. I was certain I had made the right choice. From here on in everything fell into place. My flights became cheaper by the time I finally paid them off, work was easily being found and at a fast rate (still is), I had no difficulty selling my gear, I was gifted with an iPhone from a family friend and not once did 'odd' feelings pop into my head. Asking the question to have time off and so soon is the biggest risk in my career to date but I also know that it will pay off in more ways than one.


In 2012 London grew me, as a person, writer and teacher. A risk it may be to leave at this point in time but it is definitely not one I will regret. I am so thankful for my opportunity and how blessed I am to return to London so soon. I am happy I became greedy about it and pursued my desires, after all I know had I not listened to how I felt I would be facing an entirely different situation filled with sadness, where I would have felt trapped. Now it is mere weeks until I leave and I cannot contain my excitement for adventure.


Life is about being persistent, being greedy and healthily asking for what you want. We owe it to ourselves to have the courage to see our dreams through. We owe it to ourselves to ask for what we want the most and fully expect that we deserve it. No one should look back on life and wonder on the 'ifs'. Embrace all that you are, want to be and achieve and do not compromise, your dreams will come true.


Till next time...


Jules


about, Inspiration, life, motivation, philosophical, quotes



Friday, 20 February 2015

How to stay on the success bandwagon for life

'I'm so disappointed, I could have done it, I just didn't...I'd like to say I had no time but that'd be a
lie.'
New Years fitness resolutions can be haunting, they leave you spilling your pity guts to your closest friends in a random brainstorming attempt to discover 'the secret to success' to fulfilling your goals for the following year. We love our drama filled approach for the holy grail of knowledge so much so that we forget the secret to success lies solely in our head and instead bash ourselves consistently with inadequacy whenever we fall off the bandwagon.

You awake at 5.30am to the obedience of your trusty alarm clock only to discover that the confidence and motivation you oozed last night is gone. Your bed sheets become a cloud of ecstasy teasing you to forget your goal and just do the workout tomorrow. You feel your body heavy, sore and peacefully calm, you decide it's best not to mess with nature, after all you wouldn't feel this way if your body wasn't trying to tell you something.
'Just listen to me' the bed sheets whisper. An hour later, conveniently too late to workout, you sit there feeding your mouth with guilt in every bite. You convince yourself that tomorrow will be different, nothing will break you and you WILL achieve your goal. Wrong.



This psychological mind play occurs to everyone, athletes aren't even exempt, it does and will derail your efforts to success and it is not the only one. Moods, long workdays, colleagues, children or family stressing you out or the classic...your apparent belief that you have no time to exercise, will all attempt to ruin your ability to achieve fitness success. As soon as you fix your headspace (and constantly work on this) you will experience achievement. 

Unfortunately everyday individuals aren't told by society the importance of psychology on developing positive, long lasting habits, instead we categorise that to the elite few or find warm, fuzzy and shallow ways to explain to people how to overcome everyday challenges. So I'm giving my tips. Am I a qualified psychologist? No. I have however experienced again and again failures from a weak mindset and success from applying sports psychology strategies not just to my fitness life but every other aspect of my life. For me it has meant hiking for 10hours straight on my own or putting myself through extensive training for Everest has never been out of reach and I'm not a six pack adorning female.



First of all it begins with acknowledging what your weaknesses are. This is the hardest part because many of us don't like to admit our weaknesses but when we know them we can plan things appropriately. For example, most people plan their exercise in the afternoon post work but most people who do this also find it easy to skip out on their exercise due to work related excuses, poor organisation at home or meetings they forgot existed. This is the first step to derailment. Exercise in the morning until you know that 100% of the time you've organised afternoon exercise you will follow through with it. If not get up even for a few minutes in the morning until you get used to it, you'll get endorphins, energy and a free afternoon to yourself! Afternoon exercise does take more motivation and commitment so if your mindset isn't strong, don't go there. Also, tune into your excuses, your current workout mindset. Do you stop at 8 repetitions because you've convinced yourself your incapable of doing more? Most people can complete 3 to 5 repetitions more than what they think. Do you yell, argue or verbally get frustrated with a trainer about how you're feeling?  Sorry honey, hate to tell you, this is just another excuse. Fully, committed people who are training to achieve fitness (of any original state of health) do not have the energy to yell, kick scream or get cranky- you've got a lot more in you when you're like this. I've got an injury, I can't possibly go on. Ask yourself this- does this excuse come flying through your head when your working your hardest? Good, it means your workout is effective, don't stop you're not actually injured. Here's another old age excuse- everyone will see me exercise, I can't go to the gym! Let me let you in on a secret from years worth of gyms. Gyms generally contain two groups of people- a group too focused on achieving their personal goals and another too focused on checking out their 'guns' in the mirror. No one is looking at you. You'll be fine. In any case no one derails your success other than you. People might read this and think it's harsh but let's be real, it's your goal, you own it, you can achieve it. Decide if you want to be haunted by your weaknesses, your excuses or be fulfilled by your success, then work on your mind some more.



Enter life hurdle number 1. What happens if I am awake and I suddenly realise I have no socks, bra, shoes are elsewhere or I'm missing my gym card? Surely that means I can skip the workout right? No. The best way to overcome this is with a two pronged approached. Sleep with motivational fitness memes in your room, have one in your car as well make sure it's not warm and fuzzy, make sure it challenges you. Place it right where you will see it. This will encourage you to get out of bed. Then if you happen to forget equipment no matter take a walk, you only require yourself to enjoy this. Drive to a park or beach if you have no shoes enjoy the sensory stimulation from the grass fronds or sand granules on the soles of your feet, take deep breaths and enjoy the fresh air. Either way the idea is that you allow your body to reward yourself with endorphins for your effort. If you don't experience endorphins at first you certainly won't experience guilt. 



When you make it to the gym forget the reps and sets. Yes, you heard me right. Most countries are riding a crossfit craze at the moment, while it's not for everyone there is something average joes (until we achieve our awesome success) can take away from these intense workouts. Decide on the machines or weighted exercises (works for cardio as well) you'd like to do and complete an AMRAP workout; do as many repetitions as possible. Record in a book what you were able to achieve and your starting weight. You can do this without a trainer. As you build your fitness levels through regular workouts go back every 10 days and see what gains you have made- use the same weight you started with. Record. Not only should you see an improvement in muscular strength and endurance but you will also initially determine what your capabilities are which is something a cookie cutter approach of 3 sets and 15 repetitions will never give you. 

As you workout more and experience more success you will come to learn that you will be challenged more. The 'fitness demons' of derailment will visit more frequently. Yes, the beginning of a fitness program is the easiest. Maintaining focus, motivation and striving for success when success may start to become smaller amounts of fat percentage, weight or slightly longer distances is difficult. This is where you need to learn specific  sports psychology techniques. Arousal and concentration, mental rehearsal, mental imagery and centring is important. Let's start with arousal and concentration. 

Arousal and concentration is about finding your optimal headspace. It's the point where your excited but not too excited or relaxed for movement and therefore the headspace were the best performance occurs. Different activities will require different levels of arousal. For example, running up several sets of stairs requires me to have a fair level of arousal so that my feet are moving fast, I'm motivated to keep going and I don't stop and get lactic acid building up in my muscles. So when I run the stairs I like to play upbeat music from the HIIT playlist on spotify. When I'm completing several hundred box jumps at table height I need a slightly lower level of arousal because I need to concentrate more on powering up from my legs to make the height, landing evenly with two feet and supporting my back by keeping my abdominals on tight- when I get tired I need to concentrate more for safety. Most people know their mind and what arouses it. The trick is finding ways to also calm us down. For some merely concentrating works, for others it's a lengthy process that is only achieved over time. Achieving improved fitness is entirely personal so this will not be an easy process. You need to think, when you get frustrated with performance or lack of it, how does your behaviour help your end game?



This leads us to mental rehearsal and mental imagery. These are both quite similar. Personally I find mental imagery extremely useful however I have a creative mind and so conjuring images in my mind is simple. So what are these techniques? Mental rehearsal enables you to practice every aspect of your performance, running or squatting, in your mind without moving a muscle. This means you are envisaging the movement of your body at each point in the exercise, how it feels, how freely it moves, your strength. The more you practice the more successful you will feel inside. For example, I used to daydream virtually everyday that my left ankle, once broken in 2 places, would land on the ground, off a stair or a train platform and automatically break leaving me stranded, helpless and devastated. Once I started applying mental rehearsal to this situation I would frequently daydream about successful landings. This took a lot of time and probably about 30 to 40 practices until I actually believed my ankle was stable enough but now (a long time after- 2.5years) I can complete thousands of box jumps, jump squats etc with no pain and no fear of snapping my ankle. Does my mind ever revert to the fear days? Yes. So I rehearse again until confidence is restored. Now when you add mental rehearsal and mental imagery together you have performance made in heaven. Mental imagery is about imagining all the phases of the performance as well as the scenery, the emotions, the noise etc. When I was training for Everest to assist my mind to create images I would use previous hiking videos of the trail so that I could imagine my body in those conditions, experiencing their experiences and feeling how they felt. By the time the mountain was closed for avalanches I had committed to memory, myself on every part of the trail to Everest base camp. This was also one of the reasons that made it so hard to work my day job when I should of been hiking because my mind was so entrenched in the process from long hard effort and constant practice. Now I know without preparing myself to witness a myriad of things my experience in Nepal will be far more challenging. Therefore in my opinion I think especially those who bash themselves with their own self hate, you need these techniques. You need to see yourself where you want to be achieving what you want to achieve so that you are haunted by your motivation. Then I promise you, you won't stop. However if you do stop, I have one more tip for you. Try centring.



Centring is one's ability to shut out all outside noise and focus on your task alone- I guess it's the woosar of all sports psychology techniques. This means children, gym junkies, skimpily clad chicks 'pumping iron', the person with the bad BO, your busy checklist and most of all your defeatist attitude all gone. If you cannot stop and focus on your task and stay bashing yourself with words then you won't change. Pity parties get tiring for even the most kindhearted people; no one wants to hear how much you hate yourself and your body day in and day out. You have a choice, move it or lose it. So spend time thinking of nothing other than the minute steps you need to take to achieve success. If you don't know how ask someone. Achieve one, two, then three of these minute steps and all the while do not let Mr or Ms Negative crawl into your workout, it's me time. Totally relax, appreciate yourself. Love yourself. If you don't, no one will. If you go off track once, use your arousal and concentration techniques to get you refocused and think nothing more of it. 

When your workout is done and you have applied these psychology techniques document how you feel. If it wasn't a good session, it doesn't matter tomorrow's a new day and you can always throw your dodgy emotions in the bin anyway. Whatever you do write down how you feel. Choosing not to write down your emotions will lead to stewing over it all day long (or longer than you should) and preventing you from seeing all the effort you have put in to achieve success and all effort is worth noticing.

I hope you enjoyed this article. I know you'll experience some success when you try these techniques. Please share any comments or thoughts below. 






Wednesday, 11 February 2015

It's simple Love

Love. I always had romantic ideas of how it's meant to be. As a young girl I dreamt nothing more of meeting 'Mr Prince Charming' getting married at 21 and having my first child at 23. Now at 29 I'm glad I soon learnt that my 'ideal' form of romanticism was far too naive and left no room to love myself or to enjoy a career of my own. Then came romance of the teenage years where famous peoples faces and half naked bodies were thrown across magazines like meat; myself a keen reader. My idea of romance became another form of jaded naivety, a checklist of physical attributes. Either way history serves me with plenty of laughs from memories once realities and romance well, it hasn't changed much.

Young girls still dream of that amazing wedding day, stunning dress and brute of a man at the end of the aisle. Teenagers still prim their hair hoping Zac Efron will turn up around the corner (don't worry me too sometimes) and daily women still fantasise that their Mr will display the attributes of McDreamy. It's all a lovely ideal but nothing more.

You see love ceases to exist where expectations fail to recognise truth. I'm no expert on love but I doubt I'd find any woman or man who said their expectations and jaded ideas of their Mr or Mrs didn't blow up in their face at least once. Expectations are essential but what they silently comment is that even the most decent person isn't good enough; it's not people you should question it's expectation. 

Everyone wants to be swept off their feet by someone so much so that it is easy to forget that the sweeper mightn't wear Giorgio Armani, have a rocking hot body and no hang ups. In fact they definitely won't. Life isn't a Hollywood movie and it's success doesn't operate on ratings. It's the little things that count. It's the little things that build a life with someone or tear it down.

You only need to be appreciated, respected and thought of to know that you're loved. You do not require fancy attire, slick hair dos, exotic accents or the thickest wallet. You need to receive and give love willingly. Hold hands, smile, make each other laugh, sit in silence, challenge each other boldly, appreciate the awkwardness when you both don't know what's next and trust that when you are thought of you are in safe hands. To share this would be greater than any Hollywood romance. It doesn't come with an age range, a career stipulation or the physical degradation of another person but simply the total acceptance of another and the faith and hope to see it through. 

I hope everyday, not just when you are reminded of love (like on or around Valentine's Day), your heart can see how superbly simple love is. Live it, relish it, hope for it. 

Ciao lovelies xo