My favourite things

Christmas is nearing, my house is looking stunning, the tree is decorated in flickers of red and gold and my sling back chair is waiting for me to perch in it with a cup of herbal tea. Everything is starting to wind down and people are getting excited about their plans for the festive season. If you haven't yet heard Christmas music playing in stores near you your ears are switched off. Today is all about one of my favourite songs that I remember hearing at Christmas as a child: My favourite things. So here is a list of 10 of my favourite things in the Christmas season.

My favourite things:

• Traditions- I've begun creating my own for the past few years and its lovely, but old traditions are great too. Something so lovely in the sentimentality of traditions no matter how great or small.
• Decorating the house & cooking my speciality dishes or getting brave and trying something new
• Donating time and or gifts to people who don't have family/much (health, money etc) at Christmas (that's a tradition my parents instilled- such great parents).
• The present game- where the fun is the focus and the presents are not. Superb fun!
• Getting surprised
• Sharing an experience with someone
• Singing at the carols on a picnic blanket
• Making snow angels (if I'm in the Northern Hemisphere) or beach angels (if I'm in QLD)
• Seeing families actually spend time together. Sons laughing with Dads, Mums with daughters. The excitement people get over finding the perfect gift for someone they care about and the anticipation of how much they'll like it.
• How loved I feel whether I am with people or on my own- thanks to the real Christmas (and Easter) story.

Dating- an almost lost past time.

Today I'm going to talk about everyone's most loved and hated topic. Dating. Dating is an art form- men will say its simple but then they won't be able to justify why they rejected someone they flirt with, are attracted to and enjoy spending time with- but they do this. I'm certainly no genius especially since I'm single but doesn't dating begin on the premise of interest?

The dating scene is different now to years ago. Courtship is now only present in Jane Austen novels; holding a door open is only for men who don't fear feminists and women well if they could explain everything by rules we'd all be hitched by now. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat really all make dating or attempting to so fickle and without effort. So where's the interest?

Like everything if you're interested you invest in it. TIME. Yes people show love through various forms of the five love languages but this is one thing that is universal. Time is something that no person can get back. I guess this is where you are expecting the usual ra-ra about making sure you spend your time with people worthy of it. Don't worry I'm not going there, I'm completely aware that people already have their Facebook news feeds scattered with suggestive memes about the choices we should be making. Instead here's what I want to say; dating gets as interesting as we want it to based on the invested interest we cultivate with those we are spending our time with.

Sounds simple right? As I said before I'm definitely no expert, even in the past I have enjoyed the easier things as opposed to the right things. All of us do and then we wonder where did the spark go? Right now I'm sitting beside 2 people who have clearly been married for a while, they are sharing a meal. Conversation? None. It gets me wondering in all my single-dom dating know-how (cough cough what hilarity) why two people choose to go out and not communicate. I mean I completely understand how great the feeling is when you are in someone's company and neither of you feel the need to talk but when one part attempts conversation and the other responds with an overflowing answer of 'yes' or 'no' you can understand how dinner suddenly hurls into an argument of buts and wells.

This is how I see the scene...isn't invested interest saving your cashola and dealing with the issues you have then having a romantic dinner where you are dressed in better attire than your gardening clothes and both parties can't wait till the front door of the house opens again? Or am I speaking too simply? Either way the more I see couples, especially that have ages together the more I feel they have forgotten their greatest blessing. To love and be loved in return. After all there's plenty of people still waiting for their salt to their pepper, the sweet to their sour who are wishing a person with courage, humour and a kind heart would stand up.

So here's the challenge this Christmas season- don't just spice up your date night; spice your conversation up. Don't just be there in the room, let the other person know what your communicating across a room without speaking (other than cheeky favours) and don't just make time and think your job is done.

If your single why not take a chance? Who wants to known as no-balls Barry? Or heartless Harriet? Flirt, make people enjoy your company and not your pants because when that's gone that's one shit conversation.

Time flies

Wow its the end of November and I'm not sure how I got here! I'm not alone am I? The year has been quite epic- emotion filled, new job, new house and some new friends- it has been quite a busy time. Still knowing how much I have done does not mean I'm less horrified of the time of year that we are up to. It has been an AGE since I wrote and I guess that's why I feel like an 80year old typing as opposed to a Gen Y member flaunting her flashy fast paced typing skills. Time has damaged the fabric of my writing. So where do you start when it literally has been months. To be honest I don't know, so I'm just going to fill you in on what's been happening and not making any promises. Yes, that got you hooked right? I guess it's because I have intended to write so many things and then life happens. This is where I will introduce Brickers.

Brickers is the name I have decided to suddenly adorn my new house with. Brickers is a lovely 90s style townhouse with open plan living down stairs, you know the kind that just includes the lounge room and dining adjoining because its realistically only big enough for a living room. The kitchen is my favourite part of the house adjacent to this open plan liv/dining style and I love it the most because it is English. It has exactly about 1 metre space from bench to bench and shares its space with the laundry. I cannot quite explain what's so lovely about hearing the washing machine get off balance while cooking a roast or watching the elimination phase of X Factor. Reminds me frequently of how tranquil and serene my house truly is. The most glorious factor of the house though has got to be the black, maroon and shit brown bricks that make our house so full of life. I have learnt both the ways of decorating with contrasting colours and minimalism, since drilling bricks isn't a past time I'm an expert in. Either way quite quickly the new house has quickly become a home, its super nice to have independence again, a shorter trip to the gym, to work & air-conditioning. Creature comforts have returned, boxes are emptied and home life is chilled. So this is where I am writing from...for now. As you would have read recently I am jet setting away again in a few months so I apologise in advance if my thoughts end off in a tangent! What I am most recently excited about though is the season of Christmas. It's lovely and I typically get into the habit of surrounding myself in the spirit of Christmas, so look out for my ramblings on that. You'll probably hear me getting quite sentimental and reflective; but who doesn't at the end of a year!

I hope all have been keeping well...until next time...

The constant craving

A lot of people understand what it means to want to travel but some don’t fully understand the constant craving you can have for travel. My thirst and hunger for travel is something that cannot be supressed.  

I was like this before I left to live in Greenwich, London, UK however it is so much stronger since then, I think this is because travel wasn’t just about learning about other cultures and exploring new places but about the place I got to be at with myself. When I left a few years ago I really needed a change and I didn’t really recognise how much I needed that change until I had left and was living in a different country for a while, but it’s not this feeling that gets me hooked on travel. It’s the discovery face. Well that’s what I call it. It’s when you walk in to a room, see a historic sight for the first time or finally come to terms with what you have achieved by making your travel goal a reality and it’s like all your Christmas’ have come at once. If you’ve never experienced that before it’s akin to realising how lovely the person you are with is and just how much they adore you. So this craving is back, never left really, it’s not something you can turn off or entertain with little Australian holidays, though don’t get me wrong I love my country, it’s a strong desire I know I would strongly regret if I didn’t do it.

Having travelled and having life deliver its twists and turns I know two things for certain- life is too short to supress the things we desire most and it’s far too easy to try and justify to ourselves that we shouldn’t or aren’t able to do the things we love. The bottom line is if you will miss it don’t remove it from your life. Recently plenty of people have been questioning my reason to take time off work when I want to in order to do the things I want but I know for a fact the desires I have, round world trip, climbing Mt Everest, snowboarding in Canada, seeing the New York skyline to name a few are things I’d miss if I didn’t experience them so right or wrong is somebody else’s eyes I’m doing what I’m doing. I know I’m not going to look back after 40 years or so of work and say ‘I regretted those 4 months off travelling the world and climbing the biggest mountain yet’.

To those celebrating Thanksgiving, I hope where ever you are that you are with loved ones, enjoying the time you have and planning for memories you’ll never regret. Happy belated Thanks giving! xo


 

 

Inspiration station for this week...

It's been a while since I did inspiration station, where you take ideas from images and script a story. Here's four very different pictures for you to choose from...or if your super clever mould a few together to make it something epic.

Happy Monday! Xo

The silent killer society suffocates in conversation

What happened? Why would they do it? Why didn't they ask me for help? Did I do enough for them? These are all the questions that go through someone's head when they lose someone to suicide.

Suicide is the most tragic thing in society and yet we fail to recognise that it needs to be discussed. In many places the details of suicides are not talked about, even reported upon significantly because people are concerned that others will get 'ideas in their head' but the very notion of recognising a problem but failing to deal with it through appropriate communication is the biggest injustice of all.

After losing six people I know to suicide, one of whom I was asked to mentor I cannot express how close the endemic issue of suicide is to my heart. Suicide is not specific to culture, race, religion, social status or family background; it can strike everyone and I wish no one has to personally experience the grief associated with it. This is not a reality though.

Most people will know of someone who has attempted or in fact committed suicide in their lifetime. The gut wrenching why questions of the grieving period come out to haunt you again coupled with a stack of 'I don't understands.' It is this that I want to speak about.

Suicide isn't something people consider lightly, they are not (in genuine cases) attempts for attention but rather the person's acceptance of the belief that exiting the world is their only option for relief. To everyone else this is a crazy idea but not to the 'victim'. Time and time again you hear people saying how selfish the person was, and in some respects I agree but I also think; the person was not mentally stable, why was that and why didn't they feel they could reach out?

Here's where I want to talk about Matt*. Matt* was a 13 year old who had already received a contract with an professional sporting club. He was a bubbly person who excelled not just in his chosen sport, but at any sport that he did. At 19 I was lucky enough to work with him and witness his extraordinary talent.  Matt* was always bubbly in his demeanour, never expressing any issues despite having the opportunity with plenty of support people around him. After about 1 year of working with him I changed careers, another year passed. Matt* was 14. It was this year one horrid day I was to find out he had committed suicide. No details were ever discussed to protect this wonderful child and other children his age, also because many were grieving; that I understand but within the space of a year I had lost 5 other people I knew all under 18 years of age. All suicides.

I remember newspaper articles reporting a tragedy by no details- probably because suicide is listed as a crime. I understand that but what that fails to recognise is the ability to talk about the issues surrounding suicide just like we can for murder, rape and other haenus crime that typically expel more gruesome information more expediently in various mediums- The Woolwich attacks are just one piece of evidence of journalism never censoring crime in the media. Why be silent about this silent killer?

Can society not see at its most basic level that by saying in advertising campaigns 'talking about depression and suicide is important' and then not actually doing it themselves in the media is an utter contradiction? We cannot expect suicide rates to fall while we pretend like suicide fails to exist. Hosting 'are you ok' days attempt to address an issue but are really Band-Aids for the fact that we should be sincerely concerned for the welfare of others, and not just who we get along with, frequently. Asking people each day if we notice unusual behaviour if they are ok, never making assumptions and if we cannot help them pointing them in the direction of people who can is essential.

Suicide needs a voice. Adolescents should be growing into adults and old age, not killing themselves before they get to enjoy the things we as adults take for granted. By only talking about it quietly we are suffocating the real issues that underpin the desperation of those who seek our help. If we fail to shed light on suicide then we best be prepared for burying our children for years to come.

Why am I writing about this? Well I think its obvious that perhaps I will open a can of worms but if that means it will open up a realm of good, healthy discussions about helping people of all ages, especially young ones to overcome their inner struggles I do not regret it.

Encourage conversations amongst all ages, genuinely care about the welfare of others and make a stand to get suicide talked about in society so we can save our future generation from this silent killer. I certainly don't want to be in an auditorium of 2000 mourners again howling in bewilderment for a talented lost soul.

-Please note I have utter respect for Are you Ok days etc what I am urging is people to do MORE, just like the organisations that endorse these campaign days to shed to light on BIG issues.
-Names & details were all changed. This is an piece intended to instill love not grief, I hope that you are encouraged to help others & if I have offended anyone I sincerely apologise it is most definitely not my intention.

~Jules

 

If you don't know about these companies you need to:

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/



http://www.suicideline.org.au/


Samaritan Crisis Line
http://www.samaritanscrisisline.org.au/?gclid=CMbn2euIg7kCFUpZpQodLHwAAg

Intrinsic desires fuel nostalgic past time

So a few months ago I decided that I would begin this grand notion that I would write letters to my friends (and even people who weren't my friends) in the hope that I could gain people's interest back in the art of letter writing.

The concept was something so ridiculously simple yet enjoyed by all who were on the receiving end. The process what not about making me fill a void with something else to make me busy but rather the fact that I loved using wax seals and receiving letters; and I know that its something everyone likes. After all as an adult what mail do you receive these days other than bills?

Here is where The Travelling Nostalgia began. I collected peoples' addresses and began writing to people. I developed a Facebook event and a # for Instagram & would tease people about who was next. I really enjoyed it. Most people I wrote to didn't respond, not even a thanks on Facebook and yes I am long time friends with 95% of the people whom I wrote to but this wasn't the point.

While The Travelling Nostalgia couldn't continue without people replying I wanted it to be something that's pure purpose was to make someone feel special & give the opportunity to begin a dialogue. Ultimately if someone wants to engage in that dialogue, spoken or written, that is entirely up to them. Did it perhaps made me feel like I wasted my time in sending them letters? Only if I chose to view it that way and I've got to say some days it was hard not to, with wax 5 dollars a pop and 20 sheets of my 500year old card at $27 to get delivered from Melbourne to rural Queensland. But I needed to remember that true giving comes when you don't expect anything back. The greatest joy I had was indulging in what is basically an extinct art form in modern day- letter writing.

Why have I told you this? To encourage you in the hope that you see whatever you write needs to only serve you. If you intend it to serve an extrinsic purpose without any intrinsic desire to partake in writing then you will not enjoy literature to its full extent, in whatever form it takes. So pick up your pen, write what you want & care not if people respond how you want, write it be responded to as you will it.

Stay motivated, Jules