Making the most of it

For the first time today I verbalised that I was in fact 30 years of age. It made me laugh as the number became a reality and I said that phrase I've often heard from 'old' people that 'age is just a number.' Life is quite hilarious, it seems to be that everyone's paths are virtually the same or at least there are many commonalities. I guess the most important part is making sure you know how to make your life something else, something special. Different.

In January I ended up travelling to Budapest and Cardiff. It was a heck of a lot of fun and to top it off I got to celebrate turning 30 years of age surrounded by some lovely friends and luxing it out in the lovely St James Court Hotel near Buckingham Palace. It was quite the lush experience, I didn't want it to end. The entirety of my birthday month was so fun and adventurous that it left me thrilled for what lie ahead this year. So naturally this morning when I am laying bare chested on a hospital bed getting an ECG I told the 20 year old female intern that in fact life does start when your 30.

The past few weeks has continued the nostalgia for the yester years as it were and has given me what I think is the best gift ever- wisdom. I am no longer at an age where I want to spend time with people who will waste it, I don't want frivolous friendships or relationships and I don't hold back on what I want. Most importantly if I want to experience something I make it happen, I don't wait for it to happen. Thirty honestly feels like the sweet spot. Had someone said that too me when I was 20 I think I would have laughed it off, probably as much as the intern nurse when she was looking at me hoping her 'girls' don't look like mine in 10 years time but alas I would bet she would be saying the same thing when she gets here. In my early 20s I wanted to grow up, have kids, a house all the things that I felt an adult was supposed to do. In my late 20s I knew that being an adult wasn't settling for anything and now at 30 I know how to make sure know one hinders that effort. A blunt, cut throat approach to life it may be but who doesn't want to make the most of it?

As Valentine's Day came and went I thought of all the things I love about growing up and it has nothing to do with what I have or who is or isn't on my arm. It is much more than that. Years ago I would have accepted being hidden behind the shadow of beautiful people around me. Today I don't accept that I'm not worthy of being noticed. Its nice how the moments in life give us the opportunities to learn about these things as well, how we have grown and developed.

For example, when I was a teenager and we were learning swimming at school we always had to get changed in front of our peers, I hated it. Naturally I tried to do the most awkward of changing routines beneath my towel while the other girls wondered why I was testing out my contortionist skills. But the truth was regardless of size I wasn't comfortable with how my body looked. 10 years down the track I found myself in a London change room where clearly women had been changing in front of each other for years. I wasn't used to it at all. I was immediately thrown back into the emotions of those teenage years. It seemed ridiculous but I never really had to get used to accepting myself in such a way. Slowly but surely I got used to the fact that changing rooms were scarce and unless I wanted to freeze whilst waiting for a change room in the middle of a UK winter I needed to embrace my body and just get changed. It sounds like the most ridiculous thing but nonetheless a key part of recognising that I needed to finally grow up and well, 'get over it'. Now thanks to 'environmental conditions' I have managed to gain a body confidence I never had before, and have found that in actual fact the changing room experience is far less daunting and more accepting than I had ever imagined. Ultimately, to be able to appreciate yourself well is a real blessing and it is completely underrated.

For women (and I daresay men as well) reading magazines stand as a way to make you feel as though your life needs a complete overhaul in line with the monthly magazine schedule. But little, sustained changes are the most important ones that allow us to make the most of life. I still vaguely recall the first time I decided (as a teenager) to stop waiting for friends and do things on my own. It was a daunting experience but now years later I am someone who is comfortable in my own skin. It was this little decision and slowly built confidence that helped prompt the decision to move abroad, travel overseas solo, leave a job for a happier path and have faith that things will be fine. It isn't a series of off the cuff choices that are rashly made without some understanding of my own capabilities but it does allow me to make decisions that are a little risky yet within my capability to achieve and therefore make the most out of life.  

In any case whatever it may be looking back stands to teach us all a lot about how we can make the most of the right here and now. I encourage you to look at and appreciate where you have come so that you can make the most of what is yet to be. Don't just 'go with the flow' but create it. Have experiences that you want to have, carve the life you want to live and don't make any apologies for it. Your everyday life, friendships, relationships and achievements are exactly as you want them to be. So make the most of life and get out there.

Till next time...

Jules :)

New Year, New Adventures!

Hello my lovelies! I hope all of you have celebrated the beginning of this lovely new year in style and have already experienced happiness and success. This year means more adventure, more writing and a bit of the unknown which let's face it, is just another adventure!

Last year I decided that I would attempt to travel 20 countries in my 20s. At 15 already down (not including stop overs) and 1 month, January, to get it done it's a great way to start the year with a big bang!

First on the list was Budapest, Hungary, and boy it didn't disappoint. A bucket list destination for a few years I am so pleased I finally got it done in this 'roaring 20s' traveling bucket list. Though my trip was only a few days the excitement of going to work for a few days to then explore the world again in a new country next weekend excites me.

As time nears my 30th though I am starting to think about more grown up things, the direction of this website and what anti wrinkle creme I should purchase for my laughter lines. All very serious, urgent matters to attend to. Right now though all I can think about is squeezing the most out of a restful weekend and taking some of those  woosah spa moments with me as I begin my descent back into London life for another week and prep myself for the next adventure. I am ready, recharged and rested. I hope you enjoyed your week. Stay tuned.

Jules...

The eternal sleep

Have you ever watched someone sleep? Sitting on the train seeing a Jamaican English lady face to the outward skies as her head tilts back, mouth ajar. The crease lies don't exist on her face but I know the kind of story that has lead to her peacefully, exasperated state on public transport.

Effort after effort, travel from a to b constantly, trying to do whatever you can to keep everything together and everyone around you happy. Heavy bags in hand, now at last resting underfoot until the rest must end, her stop comes and the journey must begin again.

In October 2014 I saw my grandfather take his last breaths it was something that really upset me and being back in the UK where he lived the first 30years of his life makes it worse. We shared memories of times enjoyed in the same places across London in the UK merely generations apart, it's one of the most beautiful things we ever got to share in our relationship while he was on this earth. It has just really struck me now that this profound rest a lady on a train had for a few moments is what my Grandfather was wishing for for a few years, after years of an amazingly intelligent mind and a body that left him feeling trapped, incapable of expressing to his full capacity the beautiful mind he had. It is in this moment right now, looking at this beautifully peaceful sleep, that I learn everything we want is granted, even in death. Such an amazing grace need not be thought of with tears of sadness but smiles of joy.

What's your number one?

Yesterday I wrote about how consciously choosing no New Years resolution helped make 2015 a better year for me however I am not a cookie cutter thinker not writer, if you need a good ole New Years Reso to help get things in check start here. Priorities.

Priorities are possibly one of the most detested words in the English language because it has a negative connotation attached to it that somehow we haven't been doing what's most important however, that's more about society not individuals.

A priority is something we place with high importance, above other things based on our values and beliefs. It is therefore not always understood why individuals prioritise one thing over another, but it doesn't have to be understood- priorities are personal.

For 2016 if your making a New Years resolution I urge you to consider what your priorities are, reflect on them and decide whether or not you got it right in 2015. This is not to beat the crap out of yourself but simply to ensure you don't let other things fall off the bandwagon by focussing on something that may be temporarily important. Too many people focus on working out or getting that promotion that they forget about quality time with their partners. Life is always best when we have balance so think about how you will order your priorities and make time for things that matter most to you now. Make sure you leave downtime as a space within your newly scheduled year because running out of time and not allowing yourself time to rest is the quickest way to ensure you feel a sense of failure sooner than you are capable of. If you have 20 priorities have a rethink- are there really 20 super important things that you MUST do now?

 

Furthermore, think about the things that you can and cannot change. Many of us want to prioritise completing things 100% of the time at work (for example) but we forget that we are evaluating this priority in a vacuum. If your workplace simply mounds and mounds work and doesn't leave time to actually get things completely done you aren't going to achieve that priority so change your target. It might feel like your doing the wrong thing but honestly you can't work to get 100 things done at once everyday at an outstanding level. If you try you'll end up with a nervous breakdown or sick 3 weeks into the new year. Be realistic. The same goes for your fitness goals. Don't slam yourself at the gym 7 days a week if you have no life other than work and gym, because it isn't going to make you happy even when you have that body you want. Again, be realistic.

 

Most importantly though if you are setting a New Year's Resolution think about how you want to feel and the end of the year. New Years resolution or not (see yesterday's post), you want to be able to reflect on a year gone by that was successful from the get go, that showed the change you wanted to achieve and how you maintained the other things in your life that are important to you.

 

New Year's Resolutions are mocked all the time, let's face it but there is no reason why you cannot achieve what you want to, it's all up to your mindset. If you want to achieve it you can. So go ahead, make one and come back and write to me how you are achieving it in 2016, I'd love to hear from you!

 

Till next time...

 

Jules

WARNING: explicit motivational material with expletives.

 

 

You're in shock right? It is true I am definitely not the usual 'f bomber' especially online but it is that time of year when everyone cuts to the chase, gets philosophical and pours their heart out, filling our news feeds with momentary gratitude and Everest-like motivation. Now is the easiest time to switch off and hide all the mushiness of the season from our timelines but before you do I urge you to read this.

2015 was a different year for me. It began when I didn't make a New Years resolution. Instead I consciously decided to continue doing what I knew brought me happiness- achieve success, chase goals and enjoy every moment. This non-resolution made my year the most complete yet.

It started in January when I said goodbye to some friends I had made across a host of nations as I bid farewell to the Topdeck heroes of my Winter Getaway tour. I had a couple of days rest and randomly decided to pick a bucket list country and 'just go'. It was blissful. I ended up in a 4.5star hotel in Brussels overlooking the main square of the city, a chocolate parlour, waffles and diamonds on my doorstep. Six days later after further letting go, more than I ever had, I left London with so many positive memories and a superb start to my year. When I returned home I realised that as much as I loved being near my family I had outgrown my current life. So I did what I've never done before nor what I planned, I hedged bets and 12weeks later moved to London again. Thinking about that now makes me smile so much because I know how much gumption it took and how happy it made me feel. The turn around from a 6week eurotrip to living abroad was so short but I did it. I made a promise to myself that I would keep making decisions for my own happiness.

I continued to make decisions like these this year. It certainly wasn't the easiest year living in London. But because I focused on the positives and decided to cut out anything that didn't serve my happiness I got through the year happy. 99% of people I'm very close with will not know what my year entailed nor am I willing to share it but I am pleased to say through everything I managed to find peace and an unimaginable strength within myself. Apparently how I feel is shown on the outside because people on the street stop me to say 'wow you are a really happy person'. The funny thing is most of those people would probably assume my life is easy but in fact it's conquering the hardships that make me happiest.

Each year life asks the silent question of us, what did you do this year? I want to ask you, were you happy this year? You have the power to change it all. You can only rely on yourself for happiness, at the end of 2016 will you be proud of what you have become in a year or will you have wanted to be more?

Forgive people, be humble and allow yourself to find a positive in the most painful of memories and you will have nothing more to ask of yourself when the question beckons. You will be even more complete than you have before.

Enjoy your time before New Year's Day my lovelies, till next time...

 

 

Sorry about the language but sometimes we just need to cut to the chase & please ourselves. Be happy.



2015...a special Christmas

 

Three years ago on Christmas Eve I said goodbye to my family and flew to London to live. It was a 27 hour flight I had never taken before & a new kind of lifestyle ahead and with no family connections.

To make my journey smoother my lovely mother and sister gifted me with little flight care packages. My mum 27 scratch and win tickets, one for each hour of flying and my sister 27 little presents just to keep me in the Christmas spirit. It was so entertaining that during the time spent circling above Heathrow on Christmas morning I had to rush to finish scratching and unwrapping the presents! (Mum and Dad always told us to appreciate our Christmas moments).

 

This year's Christmas tree :)

At 7am on Christmas Day I landed in London, presents in hand, excitement in heart and a huge amount of family love with me despite being hemispheres apart. To handle the jetlag as best as possible I walked from my apartment in Notting Hill to Kensington Gardens where I sat surrounded by vivacious squirrels and heard the excitement of British children running to the Princess Diana Memorial play park shouting 'Can we play yet Daddy?!' It instantly reminded me of home; children playing on Christmas day surrounded by family.

 

This year I was again away from home, in London, except this year is a super special year. I now know part of my English family I have never met, I have my old friends from years gone by and some brilliant new ones. But most of all I have  the same gifts (I purposely re bought them for myself) my family once gave me all three years ago when I first took the leap of faith and jumped ship, so it feels like they were right here with me. Every time I put my Mor Belladonna hand cream on I'm reminded of the flight instantly and how distance will never separate how close I am to my family. I guess until recently, when I started missing them again and for the first time in a while put on my hand  cream again did I realise that scent was a beautiful way to remember the true gift I have for Christmas and every day. To make things more special this Christmas my mother sent baubles all the way from Australia with each of my family member's names on them so I could decorate my tree. My friends and I joined together on Christmas day, sharing secret Santa gifts, laughing and bringing together a Christmas dinner pulled together by everyone playing their part. It was my version of the play park with family, my London family and it made this Christmas so very special.

 

Special baubles from my lovely mother delivered from Aus

 

My London 'family' for Christmas this year- a bunch of travelling orphans...and a whole lot of fun!

 

To all my readers, I trust you enjoyed your Christmas. I hope you cherish the old and the new, recognize the real gifts of Christmas and find a way to keep them in your heart, not just on Christmas but all year long.

Julia

 

 

 

 

 

What are you looking for?

Hello! Its great to be back writing to you again! Today I want to talk to you about the question we are always asked:

What are you looking for?

I have written on many occasions about the purpose of a positivity driven lifestyle and how that creates opportunities beyond belief. I have also written about how it is important to go after what you want. The irony is life always challenges us after we have shown confidence. These hurdles become a measuring stick for assessing whether 'what your looking for' is still the same thing. Do you still yearn for that thing, person, lifestyle, career, body shape you had before? If you don't...what next?

In essence the message is the same, try and not lose faith, remain positive. As I have said before life is always about the silver linings. We must look for them. There is no harm in deciding that what you once had no longer serves you but at some point you will need to stop and assess how far you have travelled. You will need to decide whether you are happy with the distance you have travelled holistically or whether you want more and if that means moving on.

In the past 6 weeks everything in my life has constantly begged the same question again and again, 'what do you want?' It is like life is screaming it at me, begging me to yell back the answer however I don't have all the answers right now. The frustration has lead to random bursts of tears and an overall lack of motivation and all the while I have forgotten up until today one vital thing- nothing happens while you're stationary.

This applies to everything. If you are not trying to follow your dreams, be creative, chase the career you want, put yourself out there for a partner, improve your relationships, be committed to  your health then you can't expect silver linings to happen. The sad reality is if it takes as long as it has for me of late to grasp this concept you end up chasing negatives and never seeing the beautiful graces in things working out or, not working out. Everything does happen for a reason.

A few years ago I left London and I was saddened that it had to happen. I really didn't want to leave; returning this year and making things happen is one of the best things I have ever done. I didn't realise it at the time, because I said I was coming back for friends and more travel, but I had just allowed myself the opportunity to succeed at something I always thought I failed at and that was a gift I gave myself. Any time we pick ourselves up and try again we are betting on ourselves, we are saying we are worth it, we are picking our battles and deciding our best battle is with our own mentality.

Tomorrow I have been in London for 6 months. I look back on my time and I see wonderful travel, new career connections and some of the greatest friends I've had in my life. Even if the 'what am I looking for' question changes those silver linings will never be taken away and that's something to be grateful for everyday. So...to those special people in my life who supported me the past little while when I was struggling beyond belief thanks for being my silver lining, my little rays of sunshine.

I look forward to some more London writes with you all & sharing some exciting news. Until next time...