Saturday, 9 April 2016

Running vs fighting

Are you flighty or fighty? When I moved to London a year ago I flew away from all I knew for a chance to be recognised in a career that showed me dead ends. Now I have a career that fulfills my need to be valued for who I am and what I do, but it didn't come without a fight. So what's the benefits of harnessing your fight and flight responses to life? Read on.

As a young adult adamant on pursuing my goals in every aspect of my life I was always determined to find more, ask for more, demand more. So naturally when my career landed me with two realities 'you're not a man and we want one in a position of authority' and 'you're not experienced enough, you're too young, what can someone so new bring to the profession' hit my pursuance of excellence like a brick wall, I was left dumb founded. With itchy feet I plodded off to work each day still passionate about effecting change knowing that while the brick wall existed my passion would slowly die. So it was no surprise when I'd done my time and gained 'that level of experience' I flew away from the cage with great speed. In fact this flight lead me to moving to London in 2012.

Later on though life would dish up a few hurdles I could choose to either accept or reject and I knew my reaction to these would shape my future though I attacked life just the same. Achieving goals were number one, always. So naturally when I decided that making decisions based on financial comfortability and stability was a sure way to secure unhappiness I enlisted my flight response again in the pursuit of happiness and I gained it. With little money to my name I jumped on the freelance circuit. While it wasn't stress free it did make me ridiculously happy. Some people might attribute this to a flexible lifestyle however I know that prioritising happiness is what made the difference. It also allowed me to fight for what I wanted while I worked. It is in this fight where the true happiness began.

When I first took my latest job, working with those who can't read and write, I was stoked. It had taken all of about 6 months to find but I'd located somewhere that seemingly fit with me more than I thought it ever could. I started kicking goals but I still had to choose to fight to stay or decide to fly away and experience a new venture. Why am I sharing this? In this process I realised something greater than I'd ever had.

Life had landed me opportunities I could fly from or fight for but it also provided opportunities where I had no choice but to fight. 'Being stuck' as some may view it has been a great blessing. 'Stuck' teaches you more than flying ever does. Stuck helped build my resilience, grew my determination and finitely defined what I wanted in life. Now, I'm not a lady with regrets and I'm not suggesting those that choose flying over fighting should be regretful, but I challenge you to ask yourself, what can I gain by fighting instead of flying?

Life throws some serious curve balls and in the midst of it all it is easy to run, throw our hands in the air and admit defeat but its also those curve balls that give us some of the greatest gifts. At times we can get so stuck going with what we are used to, pushing and pulling life in the path we think is right for us but if we fly and fight and pay attention to what we learn from it we can recognise our best self emerging. After all life is always about the journey because the destination in the end is the same.

Till next time... Jules

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