No I won't take that chance, no I won't change my lifestyle, no I won't be uprooted, no I don't want to get hurt, no I cannot- I don't want to hurt them. The problem with no is there is absolutely no chance you get what you want when your sentence starts with no, not even a compromise. Sometimes we even try to justify to ourselves that a 'no' isn't a bad as it really is and that things will get better but a no still means that we fail to have what we desire full and well knowing that we are settling.
Now there's nothing wrong with settling, nothing wrong at all. In fact settling is bliss when you have what you truly desire, your lifestyle is happy, your chances bring you learning and happiness and your relationships love- settling is not about creating sediment that fossilises over time due to comfortability. Settling is not about mediocrity it's about settling for a life that makes you truly happy, that mystifies you beyond conceivable possibility because true settling is sitting in the pleasure of good decisions that make you consistently happy. Yes, there are bumpy roads in any path where your required to settle but they are not outweighed by a joy that permeates our initial decision and a constant reconnection to the beauty that our choice was blissfully right for us.
This initial decision, the 'no' whether voiced or silent is an unmade but totally deliberate choice we make. It is these choices too that are the hardest to forgive ourselves for. They remind of us that we chose blindly to waste time, not take chances or be the wrong people because we feared risk. We all do it, it is for this reason why I believe we should take more risks and look foolish more often for the sake of some more potential 'yes' responses to our life. Also for a settled life of happiness not mediocrity after all it is these unmade (no) choices we make that haunt our lives long after the risks.