Tuesday, 2 September 2014

It's easier being angry

In a world full of disappointments, an over abundance of bureaucracy and where people justify their horrific actions with 'just cos' responses it's blatantly obvious that being angry is the easiest reaction we can have. Humans love this reaction so much that when someone have a positive mentality to their life or heaven forbid offer forgiveness to another, people shoot them down as being fickle and ridiculous. Our infatuation to reach for the reaction of anger in every aspect of our lives in so prominent that we glorify any other mature, helpful reaction to life as miraculous. So how do we change our angry, negative mentality, help ourselves and positively contribute to the world? It's all in the mindset.

Our mentality is greatly affected by what we allow our minds to accept. Always entertaining the negative means negative outcomes and a negative attitude are guarantees. Conversely positive thoughts produce positive outcomes and attitudes. This isn't new information for us though. Everybody knows positivity is the key to being happy however few recognise how important little steps are to making a big change. 

For anybody who has ever achieved a goal you will understand the little steps it takes to accomplish your desires. Without these little steps goals are not fulfilled and it's exactly the same with changing a negative mindset to a positive one. So what little steps can you make now to change your mindset?

1. Listen to your words. Many of us listen to speak and not to hear. You need to listen to what you say and recognise it has a spiral effect on how you feel. Science proves the mind and body are connected, don't go kidding yourself. Some people might find themselves saying 'I can't do this' when they haven't even tried. Here's my advice for you- quit while your ahead darling. If you aren't willing to try, accept that whatever circumstance you are in it will NEVER change. If 'can't' is in your vocabulary banish it!

2. Become friends with high modality words. These words demonstrate the certainty of something. Key words to keep in your think tank- will, can, do, is. You'll be surprised how saying 'I will complete my task' instead of 'I should get that task done' brings you a sense of ownership and achievement.

3. Be prepared to be silly. This is probably the tip most people will laugh at and say 'yeh right' but it is also the reason why they don't change their mindset. Positive affirmations are important, we need to tell ourselves things at times before we come to know them as truths. Positive actions are also very important. If you don't like your appearance or your just having an off day look in the mirror, tell yourself how handsome or beautiful you are- steer away from sexy, it reduces you to an object not a person with superb personality & stunning physical features (which everyone has a least one of!). If your feeling grumpy or sad make yourself smile or laugh, granted you'll feel like a loser but you will absolutely end up laughing genuinely about your attempts to be positive and then...well it worked! 

4. Ban the news. Let's face it the news for a large proportion of its air time focuses on negative things. While you shouldn't be naive to the world around us it serves us no purpose seeing an article or watching a headline that has graphic images of suffering or death. News can exist without this graphic content- find the newspapers that don't allow mass exodus of graphic images or switch the television to something more positive, you will scarcely find anything positive on the news.

5. Rid yourself of negative people. This can be super hard because there is far more negative people than positive, so here's 2 suggestions. If you cannot remove yourself from the situation to get a breath and be positive (and reflect on how lucky you are to have a positive mindset) absolutely do NOT allow others to entertain their negativity in conversations with you. This will mean your positivity won't be affected as much but also they will start talking less negatively which has only good effects on their body and mind!

6. On hard days where 3 or more bad things seem to happen in quick succession you must look for the silver lining. Remind yourself too that at times it doesn't come straight away but the excitement of finding out what it is could spur you on. Also if need be get someone else's perspective. If your complaining about not having something or things being difficult why not look up the life situations of women who cannot carry water everyday in Africa without endangering their lives, or children who have less than $2 to feed themselves a day. Read their stories, find inspiration in the fact that they cherish what they do have. Be careful here though when you recognise silver linings for others, who still cling to negativity, to help them rid themselves of anger they may make a mockery out if you. In essence they are saying 'I want to own my anger leave me be.' So leave them, if someone wants to go to bed angry every night and mull over things long gone let them- it's only doing them damage & hey you tried.

7. Ask yourself what you want. If success and happiness is a part of it you MUST change your mindset or you will never achieve those things- whatever they may be. True happiness after all comes not from things but through doing things for others and loving our lives and ourselves.

8. Still not convinced? Write a diary for a week on how much energy you have. List the most important things that you frequently write about- they will possibly be the things that bother you that you could do something about. Read your old entry back a day later and reflect on what you wrote. Did the bothers of yesterday matter today? Did you have much energy? Anger robs you of energy, so while it might be the easiest way to react it is also the easiest way to get tired, sick and lonely. Again...what do you want?

So now you have tips to begin your probably wondering 'what happens if I fall off the bandwagon?' Get back up. We humans know what we want- if anything 'want' is the most overused word we speak to each other about- so tell yourself what you want and then begin the steps again and be realistic. 

Big changes especially our attitude, comes with hard times, you will experience great highs and epic lows on your quest to reach any goal you desire but this is where the achievement lies. There is no success in getting a promotion if you didn't have to work for it. There is no success in understanding your own beauty if you wear make up everyday. There is no success in losing weight if you never exercised- you're merely giving yourself an intermission to returning to your original 'uninspiring, emotionally annoying' body shape. Most importantly however, there is no success in being positive only on days where things are great.

Today's society has begun to tell us that we can have what we want now and it won't be hard work but we need to get real with ourselves. We only create our own disappointments by having this opinion. When it comes down to it no one gets anything for nothing. Being positive isn't easy (especially when you have jealous haters) and life will knock you down to see how far you've come- accept it as a challenge, recognise your gains and never go back to thinking about the days that once were. Through this your personality and your outlook on life will become infectious and to me that is an infection the world needs right now.

Till next time...

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