What are you looking for?

Hello! Its great to be back writing to you again! Today I want to talk to you about the question we are always asked:

What are you looking for?

I have written on many occasions about the purpose of a positivity driven lifestyle and how that creates opportunities beyond belief. I have also written about how it is important to go after what you want. The irony is life always challenges us after we have shown confidence. These hurdles become a measuring stick for assessing whether 'what your looking for' is still the same thing. Do you still yearn for that thing, person, lifestyle, career, body shape you had before? If you don't...what next?

In essence the message is the same, try and not lose faith, remain positive. As I have said before life is always about the silver linings. We must look for them. There is no harm in deciding that what you once had no longer serves you but at some point you will need to stop and assess how far you have travelled. You will need to decide whether you are happy with the distance you have travelled holistically or whether you want more and if that means moving on.

In the past 6 weeks everything in my life has constantly begged the same question again and again, 'what do you want?' It is like life is screaming it at me, begging me to yell back the answer however I don't have all the answers right now. The frustration has lead to random bursts of tears and an overall lack of motivation and all the while I have forgotten up until today one vital thing- nothing happens while you're stationary.

This applies to everything. If you are not trying to follow your dreams, be creative, chase the career you want, put yourself out there for a partner, improve your relationships, be committed to  your health then you can't expect silver linings to happen. The sad reality is if it takes as long as it has for me of late to grasp this concept you end up chasing negatives and never seeing the beautiful graces in things working out or, not working out. Everything does happen for a reason.

A few years ago I left London and I was saddened that it had to happen. I really didn't want to leave; returning this year and making things happen is one of the best things I have ever done. I didn't realise it at the time, because I said I was coming back for friends and more travel, but I had just allowed myself the opportunity to succeed at something I always thought I failed at and that was a gift I gave myself. Any time we pick ourselves up and try again we are betting on ourselves, we are saying we are worth it, we are picking our battles and deciding our best battle is with our own mentality.

Tomorrow I have been in London for 6 months. I look back on my time and I see wonderful travel, new career connections and some of the greatest friends I've had in my life. Even if the 'what am I looking for' question changes those silver linings will never be taken away and that's something to be grateful for everyday. So...to those special people in my life who supported me the past little while when I was struggling beyond belief thanks for being my silver lining, my little rays of sunshine.

I look forward to some more London writes with you all & sharing some exciting news. Until next time...

I want to be ridiculously in love with my life

The notion of being someone who loves every inch of their life is something everyone chases but how do you do it?

 

1. Forget the 'shoulds'

Do not do what society projects you need to be doing right now and just do what you want. If you listen to the shoulds it is only you that will be unequivocally upset with your life. You don't need to please anyone but yourself and what's more...you can't actually please anyone properly if you are pleasing a societal expectation that silently controls you. Live the life you want.

 

 

2. Choose the things in your life that make you, you and chase them with a mind full of goals

When you prioritise the pie pieces of your life what can you not live without? What 'hobbies' didn't you actively pursue every week? Cut those. It doesn't mean you don't love them it just means you can channel your love into a hobby that makes you well you. Here's an example- if I don't write, sing or exercise in a week I feel 'off' like I am not myself, when I reconnect with these things its like I am back, returned to Jules again. I crave these things. Massage, drawing even travel I love and thoroughly enjoy but if it didn't exist or I became incapable of doing them it wouldn't change me as a person. Comprehende?

 

 

3. Affirm your own awesomeness to yourself.

Write down your strengths and weaknesses and start immersing yourself in positive affirmations that make your weaknesses your strengths. Realise the vast qualities, talents and sills you have to offer others. If someone doesn't appreciate these there will be plenty of others who will so don't sweat it. If this part is more difficult for you get a healthy overdose of positive affirmations, litter your life with them by placing them everywhere in your house, workspace and that dreaded screen you look at.

 

 

4. Expect only the best.

It is true that our expectations are reflected in our results. Sometimes it can be highly frustrating knowing that you  have been waiting for a long time but the wait is always worth it. The amount of times people have told me I'm snobbish because I expect high qualities in others, men and businesses and that I don't budge on the fact is so frequent it is unable to be counted. However doing as others have suggested and settling for less has meant I never sacrificed my goals or my happiness. At 29 with a book just finished being written, living overseas for the second time, having travelled 15 countries and being in the possession of a job I love and am appreciated in whilst kicking some major personal goals I can't say I'm disappointed in my choice.

 

 

5. Take risks that scare you a little

The best way I can talk about this is to discuss my two competing loves; writing and helping children succeed. Whilst I love and always will, teaching, it is (especially if you never try for a promotion) a safe career where you are constantly stable. It pays the bills. Sadly, this fact alone means that the profession sees various lazy teachers who work uninspired and effectively demonstrate that they couldn't careless about the kids and for the most part it is a mission to let these lack lustre teachers go. In comparison creative careers like writing demand their workers to constantly evolve and take risks, it takes a leap of faith to get yourself and your work out their and noticed. It may mean infrequent pay cycles, work schedules and uncertainty but it may also come with great reward. Whatever the leap of faith in any career, for a promotion or otherwise, back yourself and your abilities, the absolute worst thing that can happen is you'll learn from it. So as Nike says...Just do it!

 

 

These five things are the simple secrets to successfully loving your life however there is one final, vital thing to remember. BE SELFISH. In a world driven by selfishness it is the epitome of irony that we don't place the importance on the right selfishness and that's the utter need to selfishly own our right to be happy- forget the possessions, be greedy and selfish about the things that will bring you lifelong lasting happiness. Most of all remember not to feel guilty about it, you are the one that lives your life and nobody else.

 

I hope this has helped some people who are looking to find a path they love instead of one they are on, it mightn't be an epic change it could mean a small tweaking. I hope that you find the courage to grant yourself your own happiness by chasing what you want. It really does make a world of difference. Since I've lived in London I've had a new lease on life, people (even those I don't know) constantly questioning my biological age when I tell them I'm actually not 24years old, I'm 5 years older, for me this is an one indication that how I feel on the inside is radiated on the outside and it all came to be from a few decisions. Happy Saturday lovelies.

 

Open your eyes...

Eyes wide open, brows raised and a cheeky, 'I did it' grin of confidence supported by a tall posture and an outward look. It's the look shown by someone who takes a punt on themselves and pursues their dreams. Whether you are 5, 25 or 70 the look doesn't change and neither does the effervescent feeling of being on top of the world. Sometimes described as the light bulb moment, when an individual finally discovers how bright they have made their own world by choosing to live for their passion.

 

 

Life is about passion. When we commit to doing things with passion we gain a zest for life we would otherwise miss out on. Everyone has that one thing they love to their very core that they know they would be different without but do we all live it?

 

Over the past 8 weeks or so I have been working on a project that would help me to discover what life would be like being paid to carry out my passion every day. I have written a book. This book is the very first of which I will publish myself and put on iBooks for viewers to read. I am a little nervous about it's success but I am super excited to be finally putting my name to something and taking the punt on myself in a larger fashion. As you are probably fully aware I am not a paid writer or blogger, I operate purely on the drive to publish (via posts) work that I feel gives an honest voice to an increasingly politically correct and bland society. Like authors of eras gone by I recognise that literature plays a pivotal role in societal change and whilst I might be one person that's all I need to be to affect change.

 

This is where The Pursuit of Greatness comes about. This book, currently in the final editing phase, shares how physical pursuits alter an individual for life making them more successful and fulfilled in all that they do. Largely based on my training, defeats and successes of Mt Everest, I feel that it will connect with any individual who is seeking to find an unstoppable mindset and healthy confidence for a lifetime. I look forward to sharing with you how the final days of this book comes together and how I feel about my journey as a soon to-be author.

 

 

Already I can tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed committing time to my passion for writing and my passion for health, fitness and adventure. It hasn't really felt like work because I have fun doing it; even if my eyes feel like squares after editing the book 12 times or I've gone around in circles deciding which way I wanted to write the sentence only to write it the same way as I had it in the first instance!

 

The process has really got me thinking about how many people work everyday in a job they aren't passionate about. Please don't miss hear me, I love educating people in all walks of life and am very passionate about it however the dream job is to write books. At present I'm making it happen by taking a punt on my work and that alone feels great, therefore the success of the book is virtually irrelevant but what about those people who have no passion for what they do at all? In the United Kingdom the average working week is 48hours or 1344 hours per year provided you get your 4 weeks of annual leave each year. 1344 hours is a long time to be stuck in a job that you don't like especially when we know that health is directly related to our emotional state. Imagine if you could work 1344 days in a job you loved where you didn't count the hours, minutes, seconds of the work day? Where you weren't looking at Friday memes on Facebook from Tuesday lunchtime? Where you didn't feel like punching someone in the face for their idiotic management decision that was made without any input from the frontline workers? It would be pretty sweet wouldn't it. Well it only takes one thing. You.

 

 

Yes, you need to decide to take a punt on yourself, give yourself a go (as Aussies would say) and back that business idea that you've always had, take a chance on an idea you have and be prepared to get uncomfortable for a bit to increase your happiness. Kick those goals you always dreamt of achieving and walk to work with those eyes wide open, brows raised and a cheeky 'I did it' smile. There will be plenty of people ready to criticise but at the end of the day only you who will sit with regret in your mind. So get ballsy and make that passion you have your life. I dare you.

 

Till next time...

 

 

PS: To all my fellow writers.. never forget this...

 



The health and fitness lies you are fed

Yesterday I wrote about the need to eat well, exercise to show respect for your amazing body. The problem is many people pay attention to long standing fallacies that plague an industry with some pretty amazing minds. So here's a quick post to put a stop to the nonsense based on my study in health, anatomy and physiology, fitness programming, strength and conditioning.

A quick education into health and fitness

1. Fat is good. Well good fat is good.
Dose up on it. I'm talking nut oils, omega 3 fats that come from fish, avocado- all the very best foods. These foods will help improve your mood as well as help you lose weight.

2. Fat, protein, carbs- the chain of energy burning command.
This means that your body will burn fat first and then protein and so on. This is why people tell you to ease off on carbohydrates (like pasta) but carbohydrates are your friend you must have them in your diet. You just can't have a diet solely of carbs without an active lifestyle.

3. HIIT (high intensity interval training), tabata, Fartlek training and crossfit are your friend. They work on maximum effort in shorter bursts increasing thresholds (aerobic and anaerobic- movement with and without oxygen) whilst developing a range of muscle groups. These types of fitness are the forms you want to participate in to create a body transformation. Not regular straight, slow paced cardio. Ok? The bonus is these training methods fit perfectly with our time poor world (and over scheduled lives) and therefore leave no excuse for respecting our bodies and making that healthy change. Make it a priority.

4. The method of training purely dictates the physical outcomes.
If you complete exhaustion training (repetitions until failure) you will build muscular endurance and lean muscle mass. If  you work to intervals you will increase aerobic, anaerobic capacity, ability to clear lactic acid from the muscles and develop tone. If you do heavy weights with small repetitions focusing only on power and strength with long recovery periods in between you will be working to build your muscle and increase it's size. If you are running on a treadmill, riding your bike you will work your aerobic or lung capacity, maybe  your legs if you go fast enough or if you hit hills frequently at pace.

5. Women who lift weights will NOT end up looking like men. This is probably the biggest fallacy of them all. I'm not sure whether its simply weak minded men coming up with this notion or women who are scared they'll surprise themselves with how capable they truly are. Personally feeling strong physically is empowering in more ways than one and from experience, men (especially those with great character) do look at you differently and its not about your physical appearance- that I think is something worth striving for. So remember ladies...and men...strong women who lift weights they are those women that men ogle over in the movies. Toned, lean, confident and healthy.

6. Your muscles operate in pairs. Therefore if you work your biceps for example and not your triceps you will end in an injury. Similarly if you hold weight in your stomach your back will always be week. Furthermore men who work on their chest, arms and back and never their legs not just look disproportionate but they are also putting unnecessary pressure on the lower half of their body. Bottom line- Marvel characters can run with an excessive V shaped body humans not so comfortably.

7. Weight on a scale means nothing. Measurements are what you should go by. Why? When your measurements shrink it is because you have increased your lean muscle mass. The only concern is for women...do not measure yourself around the time of your period. Many of us bloat at this time, there's no point losing motivation over a monthly body ritual.

8. Skipping meals DOES DECREASE your metabolism and will result at some point in overeating which entirely defeats your mindset about skipping a meal in the first place. Just eat.

9. Rest days are the key to success. Rest includes things you mightn't consider as 'nothing' like walking barefoot and singing or meditating with your feet up against a wall. Without your rest days your workouts are ruined, so rest.

10. I have to work out for a long time to get the effects of exercise. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Again it depends on what you want. Yes you can easily do a few hours pumping weights no issue to have a low to medium intensity and control of your muscles is essential but if your focus is blasting fat and conditioning 3 hour gym workouts aren't for you. You need to think about what you are trying to achieve and as you are improving alter what you do. Don't start with 30 minute medium workouts if 30 minutes is easy for you- change the intensity or change the duration of your workout. Remember if it doesn't challenge you it certainly won't change you. So get sweaty!

11. I can never eat anything I want. Rubbish. You can, you just need to understand that the more you eat that has high calorific content the more you need to exercise. If you don't have time then re-evaluate your food choices.

12. Sleep. The key to nailing your life. Invest in it. I mean an expensive bed, duvet, linens, pillows all of it. Investing in your sleep will be the best investment you ever make.

Any questions? Hit me up.

Till next time...stay happy and healthy!

Jules....

The latest

Writers block. I'm starting to think that we only get writers block when we choose not to write about the things we feel most strongly about. Everyday I write. Everything counts and I celebrate the ability to write although it doesn't mean I give the work I have the right to be published- even on this blog. I'm not sure whether that's the perfectionist in me or whether I'm just afraid because I know the power of words.

Two weeks ago I met an artist Nic Joly in person, we chatted and spoke about what inspires creativity in all artists, whether they create sculptures or scripts. In our conversation it was so pleasing to meet someone who so passionately sees his work as a medium to confront or change the world. His latest exhibition, of which I desperately hope I can purchase my favourite piece from in the near future, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword, showcases the duality of light and dark that exists in all of us. If you live in London you must make a point of seeing it at Castle Galleries in Covent Garden or Canary Wharf. If you do not jump online and read about Nic Joly or check out his Facebook page here.

In any case the conversation I shared with Nic instantly inspired me and made me realise how complimentary artists creativity is to each other. A few minutes after meeting him I also met a screen writer. The difference was he didn't reveal his character until the end of the conversation when he filled me in on a rom-com he had worked on a bit more than a decade prior. It was such a pleasure to talk to a man who allowed the conversation to be just about creativity without any preface to his title or success. Though I must state I thought it was hilarious to say what I do and the amount of short stories I have written when you compare it to a man who's film is known to everyone my age or older. What was nicer though was that I could share my creativity without being considered a 'nothing'. Had the conversation been different or perhaps had I met Kanye West in disguise I bet the conversation wouldn't have gone past 'I'. 

For about a week after these encounters I wrote anything and everything and I brought out some old pieces that I previously had not published and decided to prepare them for the blog. Overall these little events made me realise that as writers we choose to censor our own words at times. We mustn't do that. The world, individuals, groups, ideology and dominant discourse seeks to censor us on a daily basis, our words matter, they mean something not just for the benefit of keeping ourselves sane, for sharing our gift and our thoughts but also as a vessel for change. We do not need to listen to critics, jealous types nor naysayers we simply need to have a little self belief and an attitude that no one has the right to censor who we are. To showcase my commitment to my words, over the next week or so you are going to see posts I previously censored from the spotlight, I hope you enjoy them as much I had enjoyed writing them.

Till next time...

What is bravery?

When you think of a brave character what comes to mind? For most I imagine it would be the character who saves the day, helps out others, takes a great risk that appears to come at a huge potential cost to themselves. So what is bravery? 

The presence of courage? The ability to overcome adversity? To show strength when it would be easier to crumble? To me this is where the non-stereotypical character in life wins the bravery race. A person who, for example, chooses to stay in an unhappy, unhealthy situation knowing day in and out that it does not serve them at all is far braver than a typical hero. To me risking your life doing crazy stunts that scare the hell out of you, climbing dangerous mountains, traveling solo, uprooting your life and taking a chance elsewhere are all typical kind of risks that whilst scary at least give you some freedom. You aren't locked in a cage. 

Granted I'm not somebody who has chosen to live like this for decades at a time but I do think that in part we all allow ourselves to have this sort of senseless bravery that traps our freedom and inhibits us from what we are entitled to experience in our lives. Whether that is travel, a new job, being in a happy relationship or simply experiencing the joy of change every once in a while; these risks are the ones that will give back, the ones we won't regret, the ones we will write about in a story. However we must not forget how life's hurdles handed us this stupid bravery in order to set us free again otherwise we wouldn't be the characters that we are. 

Today for the first time since I was 13years of age I am unemployed (from a paid job). It came about not because my employer wasn't happy with me, because they were and they still ask for me back everyday, but rather because for the first time in my life I decided that happiness had to take priority over a monetary value. Perhaps I will not look as the most employable person, especially after posting this, though to me I see it as a positive opportunity to find a workplace and career that fits with my positive outlook on life and helps me grow as a person and a professional. I never thought I would be what I used to deem as 'one of those people' who resign from a job with seemingly not a thought in the world. But I was wrong, resigning (from a workplace not my career I enjoy it!) was a hard, long, thought- out decision; it was also one of the best things I ever did. I am happier, healthier, my passion and zest for life is back in leaps and bounds. Up to this point in time I have worked ridiculously hard to build my career to what it is now an I have no doubt in my capabilities to find other work. When I find that workplace, that gives me freedom to grow, makes me happy to walk into work everyday and fits with who I am- I know I'll be the most dedicated worker there. In the meantime I get to meet people working different jobs (as they come along) from completely different perspectives, cultures and backgrounds and to me nothing could be more refreshing nor important. 

Till next time...

Jules :)  

An avant garde way of travel

Standing on the escalator on my ascent to Waterloo train station today when finally it hit me. Why doesn't society create an adult size baby bjorn? 

Can you imagine? Amongst your regular commuting traffic you lift your head to see the latest form of travel- the man carrier. Suddenly a fully grown male attached to his Schwarznegger counterpart turns and smiles at you from ear to ear. He's having the time of his life and is completely, blissfully aware that his feet are dangling while yours are dragging step by step behind a hoard of human traffic post 12hour shift at the office. Women strapped to men, men strapped to men and so forth; the options are endless really, I mean unless of course you couple up with a weakling, short person or it's summer on the central line. 

It's the very kind of travel you couldn't get angry about and hence perfect for London. Why? 

1. Simply witnessing an adult chest to chest cradling another adult will bring joy to another's face. Let alone a fully suspended forward facing adult on the Jubilee line to Willesden Green. 

2. Adult baby bjorn-ing is the new crossfit. I mean who needs a gym membership when you can carry your mate to work? It just makes sense. 

3. It's a budget saver- 2 people through a tube gate for the price of 1 (if your tricky). 4. Baby bjorn-ing a friend will most certainly always result in at least one 'return the favour' journey which can be used at a time of your convenience which means; sit back, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride! It's travel time!